The Clothes Off Your Back

You don't have to go far here before your white skin becomes a magnet for little kids running up to you with hands held out yelling, "Give me sweets!" or pulling at your watch saying, "Give me watch!" This can be a really hard thing to get used to. The demanding and sometimes overwhelming way in which the children ask for things comes off as rude, impulsive and selfish to our American culture. Somewhere along the way a precedent has been set that white skin = free hand outs (candy or otherwise). I am probably as much to blame as the next person in not really doing anything to stop this cycle. I decided a long time ago that giving things away in these types of demand situations (especially things like candy) is more detrimental than helpful and therefore don't do it, however, I never stop these children and let them know how their demands come across either.

One of the challenging things about being in a third world country is the vast amount of need all around you. I could easily give away everything that I own and it not make a dent in the poverty nor would it likely really be even appreciated. God, however, calls us to walk that extra mile and to give the cloak off our back if asked. Where do you draw the line?

This was something I particularly struggled with when one of the Kenyan staff that works on station became a more and more frequent visitor to our home. This individual would walk in through our door knowing that we had baked something that day and demand some of it. Sometimes she would walk in right as we were finishing up dinner and sit down at the table and just start digging in. At home, if someone so much as knocks on your door during dinner time let alone walks in unannounced and uninvited they would immediately apologize for interrupting your meal and leave quickly. Not so here. Where is the boundary between truly being a selfless servant and giving the cloak off your back and protecting yourself and allowing yourself to really live life? Laura is such a good example of selflessness and yet if I gave into every demand and need in Kapsowar I would quickly be without even the basic means for survival.

Laura and I had an interesting conversation about this and I think she is on the right track. The Bible calls us to be willing to give up everything, but that doesn't mean we have to do so unwisely. Many will cry out with needs, but those needs should be sifted through and met in a way that can have a true impact. Laura used the example of when they first moved to Kenya they had people knocking on their door daily asking for money for food, or to pay for school fees for their children. The Rhodes felt that if they could help they should so they were continuously giving out a little bit of money here and there to help out these people. They quickly learned though that the money they were giving out wasn't necessarily going towards what it had been intended for. Giving a family 1000 schillings for school fees was not really all that helpful when it costs 20000 schillings to pay for a semester. If they really wanted to be helpful they would answer the need of one person and pay for all of their school fees instead of paying for a fraction of many people's fees and not actually really sending anyone to school. God calls us to give and not to be selfish, but also to be wise in our giving and in the way we give. It seems like the real issue is the condition of the heart - if God asks us to give up our things are we ready and prepared to do it or are they too valuable to us? I know what the right answer is, but can I really do it? He may not call us to give up everything, but the willingness to do so needs to be there. The amount of need and God's desire to make us true servants has given me a lot to consider. It is awfully hard to give up those chocolate chips when the only way to get them is to have someone bring them from the States...life's simple pleasures become a lot more complicated.